Responding to microaggressions can be complicated, but leveraging the OTFD (or Open The Front Door) framework when approaching the conversation can lead to greater understanding between all parties an
šļø *Concrete, factual observations, not evaluative, "I noticedā¦"*
The first stepāshare your observation(s). Tell the other person what happened in a factual, objective manner in order to ensure that you are both on the same page. If you have any data to accompany your observations, now would be the time to share it.
Example: I noticed that when I wore my hair picked out yesterday, you reached out to touch it without warning.
š§ *Thoughts based on observation, "I thinkā¦"*
Next, share your thoughts and/or opinions about what occurred using āIā statements.
Example: I think you were merely curious or trying to express that you liked my hairstyle. And I thought I might make you feel bad if I stopped you then and there.
ā„ļø *Emotions, "I feelā¦"*
Then share your feelings, also using "I" statements.
Example: But I felt uncomfortable and dehumanizedālike an object on display, rather than a person.
š *Specific request or inquiry about desired outcome, "I would likeā¦"*
Finally, share what your desired outcome is as a result of the conversation.
Example: So moving forward, I would appreciate if you would not touch my hair.